Being Overwhelmed by Noise

I love reading all the books related to introversion for the past days, especially after being mistakenly thought of as weird all my life or mentally handicapped, snobby or seriously mentally ill (which are all things people have thought of me throughout my life). It is such a relief to know that is just how my brain works, that there is a perfectly good reason behind it and it does not make me some kind of freak or in need of pharmaceutical assistance.

I just realize being an introvert (and it explains so much), I cannot stand noises I can't control. I notice in many ways. When I go to the public spaces, that if so many people there, everything seems so fast and loud, it just sends me that I have to leave the area. If I insist to be there, it drains me so much quicker, like a feeling of after running 6 laps. I just hate it. Tired.

Another example when my neighbors are noisy, I actually feel as though I have to move. If I go to the restaurant and the table nearby is talking so loud, I can hardly focus on anything but that. Another annoying cases for me are when children were yelling and crying out loud (tantrum) or someone was angry, yelling out loud and speaking so loud, I just want to cry. I really do. I can't stand it. I am going to try now and just accept it and realize there is nothing I can do about it so please relax but I can't. I still can't stand hearing loud noises from TV every night. I don't like extremely loud music and the worst thing is if you find yourself in a packed restaurant and shopping center, and everyone is talking making a lot of noise.

I always carry earplugs in my purse, because if I go to somewhere, I can't tolerate the sound level they seem to consider standard. I prefer silence to sound when I am working, and whenever I am more solitude-deprived I find I am also much less tolerant of noisy gatherings of people. Some weeks when I have had several meetings with others, I practically run away from them, I just get the point that I can't accept anymore input from anyone.

Due to my overwhelmed feeling of noises, I think I could never live in a city, due to the noise. I love living in the suburb where everything goes quiet at ten in the evening. Several weeks ago I slept with too many noises out there and realized that I had been living with  a noisy neighbor and I wondered why I slept poorly.

What I can do now is just making myself secured by avoiding those noisy areas. I don't even listen others' talking and I have ability to shut my ears and don't take any word from them.

People are just different and I have to learn good, healthy way to work out our differences. I think I have to plan on learning how to do it a lot more with others in the future.

Picture is taken from here.
Credit to the owner! Thanks.

Does Facebook Make People Less Happy?

Social Networking has become very popular these days. Once signed onto a social network, having answered a few basic profile questions, it is easy to sit back and wonder what you are supposed to do next. The easiest way to understand social networking is to think of it like when you're in high school. You had friends in school, and you knew quite a few people even if you weren't friends with all of them, but it's likely that you didn't know everyone. If you moved to a new school, you start out with no friends. After attending classes, you start meeting people, and as you meet them, you begin associating with those that have similar interests.

Can you mention what's hot with this kind of social networking? You may find your old friends, your soul mate, you mention. And sadly you're trained to be a stalker.

Social networking is all the rage these days, but many people still don't understand what all the fuss is all about. From the outside looking in, it would seem that online social networking is all about spending a lot of time doing nothing. But once you understand that a social network is as much of a place as it is an activity. Networking activity.

The difficulty most people have in understanding online social networking is that they view website as having a specific purpose, like CNN.com for news, Youtube.com for videos, Flickr.com for photos. But social networks like MySpace and Facebook don't provide a specific use so much as they provide you with a home on the web.

It hasn't taken long for Facebook to become the most popular social network on the planet. With the multitude of Facebook applications extending its use and the ease of Facebook Connect to use as a login for various websites, Facebook has become our home on the web.

Why are you Facebook-ing? Let me point out some of the reasons:

• Facebook is your online photo album
• Facebook for fun, games, and more
• Facebook for business
• Facebook for finding old friend
• Facebook for stalking you imaginary soul mate (okay this point is so random, never mind)

Another question came up in my mind that does Facebook make you happier? As a happy human being?

Recently, I found a study that suggests looking at Facebook can make you less happy. It seems we are less likely to report ourselves unhappy on Facebook and the more time we spend on Facebook, the more we perceive other people are happier than us (The theory is that this is on the basis of the very cheerful photos Facebookers choose to display). Bisa lagi cengir kuda, berpelukan dengan teman-teman, ciuman sama pacar, baru beres Europe Trip, you can mention :)

Some responses have pointed out that Facebook is used for many things other than posting party pics. There are groups or people with the personality of over-sharing that serve as lifelines to people with issues they need to share information about. For example, about the diseases, actual events, etc. And of course, it is obvious to anyone who uses it that Facebook isn't just for good news, it consists of serious drama both queen and king.

But I have not yet seen this response to the study yet. Why do we assume that our happiness ought to be premised on feeling happier than, superior to, better off than others?

From the perspective of traditional ethics, this is a completely misleading proposal. The compass is off.

Can you imagine how far that could take someone? You don't feel good about yourself because Lilian is doing better? We have to fix this! I hate Lilian! Get away from that Lilian! (Sorry it's so random, I don't know who Lilian is :P just picked one name) I hope I have missed some commentary that pointed out this bizarre complication of the worry about Facebook.

It can be frustrating to see so much new attention on happiness, and so little discussion of what it is. It is strange that we feel less than others because we read others' happier statutes.

Why?

When we feel better, "happier", because someone is doing worse than us, a sophisticated account of happiness ought to categorize this type of feeling. It just isn't the same as other experiences we have, that we (for lack of enough terms) count as happiness (or real happiness or lasting content, or better yet).

Anyway, overcoming feelings of jealousy, celebrating the goods of news of others, just, in general, sharing more, this is why I think Facebook is so great to make us less happier.

Picture is taken from here.
Credit to the owner. Thanks.

The Exhausted Introvert

This is another story of me being an introvert.

I really never understood why I always got so stressed out and exhausted like my energy has been drained after spending time with other people than my family and closest friends. I always felt that I was a bit weird and a lousy friend when I rather spent some time alone reading books, writing, piano playing, blogging, Pinterest-ing, Tumblr-ing, drinking coffee or tea than hanging out with other people. I always got so tired after meeting other people and so full of energy when spending time by myself. Some other times, I always got my severe migraine after seeing too many people surround me. How weird. I always felt that I should change myself and I felt guilty when I didn't feel like spending time with other people.

How easy your life become extroverts? I always ask that question over and over.

I have been really exhausted for periods of my life and I've been told that I really should meet more people to recharge my batteries after work. A very bad advice for me since I spend my whole days at work meeting other people. It ain't work.

I got more and more tired, but since I never had heard of extroverts or introverts I came to the conclusion that there was something wrong with me. My problem is that I am so used to pushing myself to talk when I meet people just because I always felt that "this is what I have to do, this is what people do when they meet", etc. This is really killing me because it makes me so exhausted. It is hard to change a habit just like that, especially when other people expect me to behave in this extrovert way. I so much would prefer to just sit and listen to other people without forcing myself to speak, but I don't know how to anymore.

I can't talk in some ways. I am a kind-hearted person, but sometimes I just want to be alone and please don't take it personally. I love to talk with the closest ones. When I have to force myself talking with other people, I feel so strange, I feel like it is not me. I need more than a year to feel comfortable talking with my colleagues at office. Don't expect me to talk vigorously like those consultants talking to others.

But I know that you are a bunch of clever people, let me handle people with my own way.

Have a great day!

Picture is taken from here.
Thanks for the owner!

The Harmony-Seeking Idealist, I Am

I took personality test at Ipersonic and below are the results. I nod a lot when read it. So, basically it is so me.


Harmony-seeking idealists like you are characterized by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings. 
You are a warm-hearted person by nature. You are sympathetic and understanding. Harmony-seeking idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. You have a strong understanding of human nature and you are a good judge of character. But you are mostly reserved and confide your thoughts and feelings to very few people you trust. You are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism. Harmony-seeking idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. However, if reaching a certain target is very important to you that you can assert yourself with doggedness bordering on obstinacy.

Harmony-seeking idealists have a lively fantasy, often an almost clairvoyant intuition and are often very creative. 
Once you have tackled a project, you do everything in you power to achieve your goals. In everyday life, you often prove to be an excellent problem solver. You like to get to the root of things and you have a natural curiosity and a thirst of knowledge. At the same time, you are practically oriented, well organised and in a position to tackle complex situations in a structured and carefully considered manner. When you concentrate on something, you do so one hundred percent - you often become so immersed in a task that you forget everything else around you.

As a harmony-seeking idealist you are one of the introverted personality types. Therefore you prefer a quiet work environment where you can intensively deal with your responsibilities and are not disturbed by too many people and repeated distractions. You need a lot of time to dwell on your thoughts, to put into words and let your ideas take shape. You are grateful for a certain measure of order and structure in order to achieve this, and being able to deal with one project after the other, thus not having a number of responsibilities at one time. You don't like being overloaded because it is important to you to deal with things thoroughly. Your capability to concentrate is unusually great and very often you become engrossed in something and forget everything around you.

You are one of the feeler types. This fact is partially the reason that you have a very strong insight into human nature and enjoy dealing with people. You are interested in the people around you and have a real sense for their motivations, needs and abilities. Your talent to see the best in everybody and your keen wish to understand others and somehow contribute to their well being predestine you to work with people.

Due to your propensity to be introverted you are not into holding major speeches for large audiences. In those professions, when advancing others in their personal development or to help them in any other way is the issue, you are unbeatable. You are extremely sensitive, and you social competence are developed above average. As a result you have no problems working with other people or being a team member. Still, you should watch out to primarily surround yourself with persons who are similarly profound and eclectic. During the working day you abhor thoughtless, superficial, and insensitive colleagues.

So, this is me, people.

Weird

It is a weird feeling.
I feel like there are overflow words in my mind and I really want to write something but I can't.
I just can't.
God damn it, I just can't.
I don't know what to write.

and I am getting frustrated.

...
...
...

I need to read more books to get always inspired.

Queen of Effing Everything

She is like a Queen of Effing Everything.

Over-complaining on her relationship with her Mom and elder sister, she never show her respect to her Mom by showing her words full of anger in social media. She screws her college life. She screws other's relationship while she already has a very handsome boyfriend. What is in her thought is only how to make her wooly boyfriend happy by seducing him through dirty words publicly. She bought expensive cosmetics just to pamper her mood. She puts it into her face which doesn't fit quite well and yet she is still complaining about it. She curses a lot. She complains about her job while people out there struggling to find one.

You better do not let people know your poor life through your tweets.

I honestly don't want to judge you, but I am judging you right now. What is actually good in you? Don't you have something to be proud of?

Oh. I remember, you have you-think-you-are-sexy body to be shown off.

Get a life.

Those Mustaches

Behind those mustaches,

Honestly I am looking for a gentleman.

I Am Sorry

Dear you,

I know I am not a perfect friend.
I crossed the boundary.
I broke your heart, and I am sorry.
I made you hurt and cry, but I don't want to say good bye.
You are my best friend and always be.
You just forgive us.
And I thank you for staying and keep the friendship alive.

Whereas, friendship is about support the real life.

Hard For Many People

It is simple to be happy

But it is hard to be simple

Picture is taken from: rougeamour

Life in the Beginning

In this occasion, I want to share a glimpse about what I felt and have done in the beginning of the year 2012. Start with my creativity, I feel like ideas run through my blood and brain like it won't stop. I make things, I create things, I practice lots of piano repertoires vigorously, I write, I cook, I knit, I sew, ah you mention. I also go through my days without too much expectations but I always try to do my best as good as I could be. What I remember the most everyday is just do good and make a good karma. You may aware that I have been writing about introversion recently. After sharing it with you all guys, I want to share my daily life of what has happened recently. 

I embrace the good feeling of he is coming back to Indonesia for good. Two weeks ago, we went to Singapore (January 5 - January 9) to pack all of his goods. I went there with his sister, Mom, and nephew. Something that I should be grateful for is, finally, I don't experience long-distance relationship anymore in my 24 years old life. Such a relieve. Moreover, I was emotionally sad seeing everything in Balmoral Three where he lived in Singapore. Half year ago, something worst in my life just happened in that condo and I can't tell you in here of what actually happened. It just broke my heart into pieces. Yes, bittersweet memories of my long distance relationship. However, I have intoxicated my memories and feelings. So, it should be fine. I just need to sit down and see of what will happen next. Hopefully, 2012 offers me some good news.

I take a chance to help my sisters to decor their new houses in Little India, nothing much happened but a joy. It is a very good feeling to decor a house with pretty furniture and tidy up a little bit. I spent days chatting, and laughing with them. I love you so much, sisters. 

Singapore Bittersweet Memories

I spent quality time with my sisters and also him and his friends. Overall, we just walked around, and did very usual activities. Nothing special happened as a holiday time though.

Singapore, again

Quite Changi

 

How The Words Can Express What's Your Feeling In The Best Way
Vivo City, Singapore

But there is something that I want to share. This is the cute part, I was strolling with my sister, Nina, to Vivo City, in Harbour Front. I forgot to check why are there so many colorful elephant statues there. But one pink elephant statue attracted me more. It's because the color for the first sight. Then, I read the words. You may see above :) I think I am sort of an elephant by memory. I can recall every memory emotionally logically in every important moment or even in several little things. So I couldn't miss the chance to take a picture with it. Love.

I also do another errand in Pioneer, Singapore. The result of going there may change my life. So, fingers crossed :) Let God do the rest, I have tried my best effort waiting and struggling to reach my dream. 

After went back to Jakarta, I am also back to my life which is totally different from the previous one. I have him beside me and hopefully we can run this relationship better and brighter. Hopefully. 

I am still the same person but I don't know why (like I previously have said), I feel more grateful, happier, and wiser. My mind is open widely, I don't love people hundred percent except my core family, I depend most on my logical thinking. I trust few, but I always want to do good to others no matter what happens (or has happened). And, I am interested in writing about personality, which I get attracted to the introversion. That's why I wrote several things related to that topic. I hope it could be very useful for everybody who read it or even inspire others. 

After my arrival in Jakarta, I also got my PC changed! :D after almost two years waiting. Everything seems getting better right now and I have a good feeling of what will come next in the office. 

My New PC at Office

I know it's a little bit random but I am happy running through my days. I know I can't talk with you directly and tell my stories, I am at my best when writing :)

And, I am excited facing Chinese New Year on next January 23! Gong Xi Fat Choi! Will update you with the pictures of the celebration.

Thanks for reading and hope you guys have a wonderful day.

xx,

Kate

Introverts: How Do We Want To Be Treated?

Previously, I have written something related to how to respect the introverts. Now, l want to sum up additional words of how, we the introverts, want to be treated. I was browsing a lot of articles in the internet and reading several (not too many) books related to the introversion. There may be so many articles suit you best, but Elizabeth Wagele, a writer-cartoonist-musician, fits me best. Below are the tips for the extroverts to treat the introverts. It is not a self-central writing, it might help you guys to gain your  human relationship with introverts, the difficult ones.

• Ask if now is a good time to talk instead of taking it for granted.
• Unless you ask some clarifying questions, you often can't tell whether introverts are worried about something, involved in their own thoughts, or you may be left alone. 
• Treat introverts gently, loud or dramatic expressions of emotion may frighten them. 
• Think of creative solutions if pacing is a problem. 
• Respect introverted friends' and family members' wishes if they prefer to be alone in times of stress or sadness. 
• When introverts opt for a privacy, remember this goes along with their inborn nature and is not necessarily a rejection of you.
• If you feel let down because your introvert isn't expressive enough, pay more attention to the words that their delivery.
• Look for nonverbal signs of affection. Introverts are sometimes more comfortable expressing their feelings in writing or by their actions than through speaking. Thus, if you wish they pick up the phone, you may have to wait because the introverts prefer not to pick up the phone unless it's super-urgent.
• If the introverts go off to watch from the sidelines alone, don't assume they're unhappy. We/are/happy.
• Don't push them in every kind of way.

Introverts Love Extroverts? How Is It Going To Work?

For some people, a relationship is the most important component of their life. Research proves that a lasting, happy loving friendship is actually one of the most important, if not the most important key to individual happiness. Some people know and realize that this is very important and at some point most of the singles sooner or later are again looking for a new partner. Introverts admittedly often hesitate longer than extroverts. For one that is because they can deal better with being alone and therefore value the advantage of being single more than extroverts. Apart from that, for them it is difficult to approach other people, and that is naturally the basic prerequisite when one is looking for a new partner.

After having been alone for awhile, many introverts have real problems deliberately embarking on looking for a partner. Sometimes that is truly not even necessary. If they are lucky they have a nice friend or colleague in their life, who drags them along to some events and introduces them to some eligible person like I had when I was in high school and university.

While extroverts carry their heart on the tip of their tongue and the entire world is well-informed about their current emotionally state, most of the time introverts hide their innermost thoughts and feelings to the point that even good friends often don't even suspect that they could possibly be ready for a new relationship. Some books said to the introverts who seek their love that when you are ready and you can at least imagine being ready for a new relationship, and you should talk about it! In that way you provide the people around you with an opportunity to help you. You may discomfort talking about this, but based on the book that I read, you should. Talk.

Moreover, for the introverts, the usual ideal approach is probably the more indirect means to look for a partner by way of common interests and activities. Making contact is naturally much easier, if one regularly meets with people with whom one is already connected by a common interest in a certain subject. I feel a lot easier talking with the people who connect with me. How I wish I meet someone who has common conversational topic and along with that comes the same wavelength. It makes me feel comfortable.

Introvert Loves Extrovert, Is That Going To Work?


At every party one meets two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who want to stay. The problem is that those two are generally married to each other
- Ann Landers


This quote describes a typical situation proving the truth of the much quoted folk wisdom: Opposite attract. One very frequently meets couples where one of the partners is extrovert. However the other one is introverted. Motor mouth and the still water, the party lion/lioness and by his/her side the lone wolf. If nothing else, it is their difference that initially caused the mutual fascination and people start to say to me: How exciting, you are so totally different! You embody the traits where I am lacking, I would love to have more of them to add a new element to my life! I am enchanted!

Non sense.

It is hard to love extroverts.

However (again), a lot of good can come of such a dichotomy if the partners know how to deal with it. They can open new worlds for each other, complement and expand the other's perspective and maybe even discover and cultivate totally new facets about themselves.

By the side of the lone wolf or the party lion/lioness may well suddenly discover the wonderful experience of a cozy evening in front of the fireplace together and how much he/she appreciates a meaningful conversation instead of all that small talk. On the other hand by his/her side, the still water may just have the nerve to join other people, occasionally be at the center of activities and be surprised that he/she even finds it to be enjoyable in a small doses. As long as it works, great!

However, due to their different behavior and needs, unfortunately after a while the differences between extroverts and introverts in every day life are often the cause of friction. After a while the extrovert becomes frustrated because he/she has to laboriously convince his/her introverted partner to join him/her in every social activity. While for the introvert it is exhausting having to participate longer and more frequently for his/her partner's sake in stressful situations and ending up with stimulus overload in return. The extrovert begins to wonder if he/she should not get him/herself an oyster knife to crack the introverted partner and get him/her to open up a little more frequently and a little less frequently retreat within him/herself. On the other hand, with the extrovert's never ending efforts to continuously maintain contact by chatting in every waking minute about everything and nothing to others, the introvert sometimes feel like hounded deer.

They said that for couples like that, it is extremely important to appreciate their differences in this dimension of their personalities and importantly, not to see them as reluctance or a slight by the other. The stages of extrovert and introvert can already be detected in the newborn and therefore it can rightfully be assumed that this involves an innate character trait that can't be helped just like the color of the eyes or hair. Since we are rational human beings, however, capable of learning and not mere puppets of our genetic predisposition, up to a certain point those traits can also be changed. If necessary, even an introvert is capable of learning to speak before a large group without fainting, just as an extrovert is certainly capable to practice in occasionally keeping his/her mouth shut and paying attention.

It is often not a bad idea to pay a little attention and cultivate particularly those traits, which may not be as strongly pronounced by nature than those that come naturally. Nevertheless, it is important to understand and admit that these attempts at changing face certain limits. Under certain circumstances and when it makes senses to him/her an introvert may be able to learn being the center of attention but he/she will never savor it as much as the extrovert, while an extrovert can also learn practicing to occasionally enjoy being alone or even be the listener for an entire evening, but to a certain degree these things are always going to be stressful because they go against his/her nature. 


Reference: Ipersonic, Introvertzone, Psychologytoday
For the picture, hmm, I forget where I took it, but it was from Pinterest.
However, credit to the owner. Thanks much.

Introverts: Living in Noisy World

Sometimes I always think that extroverts have easier lives. They can talk any time they like, they seem to have no hesitancy to express their feelings rather than those of us who place more value on peace and quite. The recent culture that I usually consider as a pop culture appears to be attached with noise, speed, vivid, high energy, fast-paced, and sometimes it makes me dizzy, and how I wish the world could stop just for a second to give me space to think clearly. I read a lot of books when my colleague, best friend yet another introvert, AN, introduced me with the term introverts. Those books told me that with some planning, it is possible for introverts to succeed and find contentment in an extrovert's world. I used to live with simple thought that this world is too noisy and I wonder how I live the life in this noisy world.

Jane Collingwood said in one of her writings that the extroversion-introversion axis is a way of thinking about differences in personality. Traditionally, a contrast is made between the assertive, self-expressive, and generally dominant personality, and the withdrawing, secretive, and more yielding personality.

According to the psychologists Allport and Allport in 1921, an extrovert is one whose mental images, thoughts, and problems find ready expression in overt behavior, whereas an introvert dwells largely in a realm of imagination. Introverts, given sufficient ability, may become visionary poets or artists, they suggest. The distinction was originally made by Freud and has since been widely used as a concept to help us understand one another. Tests to measure introversion and extroversion have been devised, but the rich internal life which defines an introvert is difficult to detect and measure.

I also got a rough guide to determine whether you are an introvert or not:

• You prefer spending time alone or with one or two close friends, especially when tired. 
• You concentrate best when alone, and often give the impression of being quite, calm and even mysterious. 
• You feel that you gain energy and strength from being alone. 

Life as an introvert is not as easy as written. We have to make it work for us. There are tools you can use to overcome the barriers that introversion can present. How about learning a trick or two from the extroverts? Developing slightly more outgoing traits can help you cope "amid the noise and haste" and stand your ground in busy crowds of people. Here are some ways to boost your confidence. I got these from Jane Collingwood's writing:

• Notice and copy social skills of outgoing people you admire. In time it will come naturally. 
• Speak out. The more you make your voice heard, the more positive feedback you will receive, and the easier it will become. 
• At parties, try playing the role of the host. Introduce people to each other. Let them begin the conversation that is not about you, so you can relax. Ask open-ended rather than closed-ended, yes or no questions. 
• Develop your networking skills. Use your memory for details to put people at ease and develop friendships. 
• Don't put yourself down or make excuses for you shyness. Others usually can relate to feelings of awkwardness, so it is okay to talk about it. 
• Above all, don't let yourself retreat from the world and avoid situations you think you might enjoy. Stay positive and remember you can always leave if it's becoming a trial. 

I am more interested to find out what the introvert really is because I believe that the most important thing in life is knowing yourself more rather than judge people around you. Their problems are theirs, not yours. As an introvert you may find you have a greater appreciation of subtlety and understatement, talents that, when harnessed, can become great strengths. When people ask me questions, sometimes I take longer time to answer and it is not a personality flaw, but means that you're making more mental connections and your answers are likely to contain more substance. Extroverts would have to make an effort to think as deeply as you do naturally. 

Your self-sufficiency also can be an advantage, as you don't habitually judge yourself in terms of how others rate you. On the contrary, you are able to focus clearly on your day's achievements. Without the pressing need to be sociable or gain attention and approval, you can spend time on relationship and close friendships, which are more profound than those shared by extroverts. 

How about in the workplace? Here your more restrained nature can really pay off. Many employers value classic introvert approaches, a calm, measured, and thoughtful attitude both toward work projects and interactions with colleagues. Without strong impulsive tendencies, you consider your actions and others' opinions rather than acting first and thinking later. You listen carefully then develop your ideas independently, with reflection. They say we should be proud of this :)

Perhaps in the modern world extroversion is overestimated. While it's true that extroverts get their energy from relating to other people, that doesn't necessarily make them good company. Nor are they always the best people at delivering messages, although viewed as natural communicators, if they are always on "send", others can struggle to "receive" the message and get a word in. So, I think we should be proud of our introversion and work with our skills. We never know, we may inspire others to have more consideration and perseverance, or even become a "visionary" poet or artists :)

I write this based on Jane Collingwood's writing in Psychcentral.

References and further reading:

Allport F.H., & Allport G.W. (1921). Personality traits: Their classification and measurement. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, Vol. 16, pp. 6-40. 

Thanks! and hope it helps.

Picture is taken from Flickr.com and edited by myself.
Thanks!

How To Be A Happy Introvert

To follow my recent posts about Introverts, I want to share my research on how being a happy introvert as I am one of those. Being an introvert is not necessarily a bad thing or something that we should ashamed of. If it prevents you from doing what you really want to do, or hinders your working and personal lives, then something should change and introverts should be happy being so.

Author on introverts, Nancy R. Fenn, wrote a Top Ten to get introvert through their day, and it is mostly a How To in getting out of negative situations and keeping positive about their character.

1. Assert yourself as a legitimate personality type. There are two legitimate personality types: extroverts and introverts. Else? You just made it up.
2. Correct people when they refer to introverts as neurotics. Introverts are not neurotics. They are introverts. 
3. Correct people when they refer to introverts as prone to mental illness. Introverts are no more prone to mental illness than others. Ouch. I am hurt to hear that. When extroverts are under stress, they overheat, smoke, drink, and become violent. When introverts are under stress, they withdraw. Got what I mean? This does not make them mentally ill. Why if we choose lemon juice rather than beer? It's preferences. 
4. Correct people when they assert that introverts are anti-social. Introverts are not anti-social. They are drained by other people and must limit their time in company, but they are friendly and loving people. 
5. Correct people when they assert that introverts have nothing to say. Yes, sometimes. BUT, on the contrary, introverts won't speak unless they have something important to say!
6. Put a proper value on your ability to be a good listener. Good listening skills are invaluable in all areas of business and industry. 
7. Do not apologize for time spent alone. Explain to critical "others" that introverts need to spend at least half their time alone for good mental and emotional health. Then assert, if necessary, that introverts are a legitimate personality type. 
8. Introverts are not losers. Take pride that you are in the company of such introverts, past and present, as Albert Einstein, Steven Spielberg, Queen Elizabeth II, Charles Darwin, Mahatma Gandhi, Michael Jordan, and Bruce Lee. 
9. Stand up for introverted children who are being misunderstood in your presence. This is one of the most healing things you can possibly do for yourself as it will heal you own inner child.
10. Don't let pushy extroverts interrupt you while you're reading a good book. Explain politely that you can't talk right now, you're reading a book.  

Hope it helps. 

Picture is taken from Facebook
Thanks!

I Am Not A Loner, I Am Happy With My Loneliness

I really didn't know what an introvert was, I told people close to me that I guessed I was a "loner". It was the only way I could describe the fact that although I might chitchat and joke around with others when we were all together, when it came to run errands I enjoyed taking off alone. It usually did not occur to me to ask someone if they wanted to come and look at something like clothes, sofas, books, etc; with me. After all, I was the one who needed whatever it was, and I can definitely think better, brighter, and make better decision when no one is talking to me.

I have a lot of friends, even best friends I have made over the years, and I really enjoy their company, their time, their laughs, their stories. But it's just in my nature to head out on my own when I need to do something. For lack of a better term, I used the term "loner" to label myself quickly when people would express hurt at being left out of all the fun I was having. Unfortunately, the news media and people who just don't know any better often use that term to mean someone who's actually antisocial: one who hates society and may even do active harm like mass shootings. Insane. I am not one of those. Maybe.

Even though I need my me-time alone a certain percent of my entire life, and I have a blast when reading or doing other things on my own, especially making handicrafts or playing piano for hours, I am also capable of being really lonely. Once in a while I have found  myself in a situation where I was alone for a weekend and wanted to do something with friend but for some reason the ones I'd try to contact were unavailable. Maybe it was a holiday weekend or just a coincidence, but I have found myself alone on a weekend with no plans at all and realized I was terribly lonely. Some other times, I can cancel my plan with my best friends just for the sake of the emergency need of loneliness. Weird? Yes.

The conclusion is, it's not that I want to be alone all the time. I like people and enjoy them very much. I just can't be with them all the time.

Now, I realize, I am an introvert.

As an introvert, my battery has to be charged, just like the battery of a laptop. When the battery is fully charged, a laptop runs great and is quite valuable. No one would say a laptop is weird or bad because it has to be recharged. We simply learn that that is how laptops are designed so we make sure we charge them before we need them. Extroverts are more like basketballs. As long as someone is there doing something with them, basketballs have plenty of energy, which they get by being bounced by a person. When they are left alone, they aren't bouncing anymore. No one would say that a basketball is useless just because it doesn't jump off the shelf and bounce by itself. We understand that basketballs need people to give them the energy to go.

If you love to run errands alone or love to eat lunch at your desk at work (oh yeah, you can find me at my work desk at lunch time) or anything else like that, don't let anyone make you feel as if you are "odd" or "aloof" or worse still, "antisocial." If you recharge your batteries best when you get some time alone, you are most likely an introvert, and just knowing that is so awesome and explains so much. Now you know why you start feeling anxious in a long meeting or when house guests won't leave. Hehe. That feeling is totally expected for introverts, and now you'll know that you need to break away. ALONE, in order to feel and function at your best. Likewise now you can understand why you may feel lonely today, when it was just yesterday you were craving some time alone. Introverts are normal human beings (despite what you may have heard) Hehehe and of course we need others. In fact we form very strong and deep connections, when we find people we really like and like to be with. Once we understand our needs for companionship vs. solitude, we can come closer to the right balance where we get plenty of blissful and refreshing alone time, yet we never get all the way to lonely.

Feel so blessed to say, I am introvert and I am normal.

Picture is taken from Photobucket. I put some additional texts to the original picture and framed it.
Credit to the owner. Thanks!

How To Respect Introverts

• Respect their needs for privacy
• Never embarrass them in public
• Let them observe first in new situations
• Give them time to think. Don't demand instant answer.
• Don't interrupt them.
• Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives.
• Give them 15 minutes warning to finish whatever they are doing before calling them for dinner or moving on the next activity. 
• Reprimand them privately.
• Teach them new skills privately rather than in the public.
• Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interests and abilities, encourage this relationship even the friend moves.
• Don't push them to make a lot of friends.
• Respect their introversion. 
• Don't try to remake them into extroverts.  

Picture is taken from Tumblr. I put some additional texts and framed it.
Credit to the owner! Thanks!

The Reason

GOD
is the only reason why even..

in pain, I smile
in confusion, I understand
in betrayal, I trust
and in fear, I continue to fight.

because it's thankful people who are happy the most.

Grateful

Today..

I am grateful I am alive.
I am grateful for rainy days.
I am grateful for neck kisses from him.
I am grateful for forehead kisses from him
I am grateful for tight hugs in the night.
I am grateful for a cup of coffee.
I am grateful for cheerful colleagues.
I am grateful for morning jokes at the office.
I am grateful for morning chat with him.
I am grateful for mom and dad's visit.

Morning ❤

When We Close Our Eyes

Sometimes I wonder,

Why do we close our eyes when we pray, dream, cry, kiss, sleep, or even feel the air breeze?
I use other senses to feel, I let my eyes closed.
Sometimes our sight is too clear, obvious, and vivid. We don't give any chance for the other senses to feel the beauty itself.

Now, I know that sometimes the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt only by heart.

Blithe

Carefree.
Happy.
Lighthearted.

Only The Real Ones

REAL EYES.

REALIZE.

REAL LIES.

Picture is taken from Piccsy. I also framed it.
Credit to the owner. Thanks!

Marriage?

I overheard my colleagues talking about marriage. One said that if you want to be happy, marriage is not an answer and she began to realize that she chose to be married because she just wanted to be married, not just for the sake of seeking happiness.

What do you think?

I begin to think about it and have a deep thought that I still do not know the answer. If you are ready to marry someone, you take all the risks. House, kids, family. Some people think that you will not have a private time for your own self.

Really?

I don't know if I can explain what I feel but to be honest I don't know what the truth is. I don't know if I will be happy or not when I have to marry someone.

I don't know.

But my colleagues' talks bring me to the new level of doubtfulness of the happiness itself.

Do you happy?

Or will you be happy?

Not Everyone

Not everyone can relate to what I appreciate.
Not everyone can relate to what burdens I carry.
Not everyone can relate to what I simply said.
Not everyone can relate to what I advise.
Not everyone can relate that sometimes silence is an option.
Not everyone can relate that showing more words for their own good is a form of attention and love.
Not everyone can relate to anyone.
Not everyone.
Not everyone.
Not everyone.

It's a New Year though, should I put this thing to my resolution, for I preferably stay in silence for all of my thoughts.

Stay in silence and keep writing.

Because if they cannot relate anything on spoken, maybe they can relate it on written.

Good night.

Wonder

I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth.

Then, I ask myself the same question.

- Harun Yahya