Monday, January 30, 2012

The Exhausted Introvert

This is another story of me being an introvert.

I really never understood why I always got so stressed out and exhausted like my energy has been drained after spending time with other people than my family and closest friends. I always felt that I was a bit weird and a lousy friend when I rather spent some time alone reading books, writing, piano playing, blogging, Pinterest-ing, Tumblr-ing, drinking coffee or tea than hanging out with other people. I always got so tired after meeting other people and so full of energy when spending time by myself. Some other times, I always got my severe migraine after seeing too many people surround me. How weird. I always felt that I should change myself and I felt guilty when I didn't feel like spending time with other people.

How easy your life become extroverts? I always ask that question over and over.

I have been really exhausted for periods of my life and I've been told that I really should meet more people to recharge my batteries after work. A very bad advice for me since I spend my whole days at work meeting other people. It ain't work.

I got more and more tired, but since I never had heard of extroverts or introverts I came to the conclusion that there was something wrong with me. My problem is that I am so used to pushing myself to talk when I meet people just because I always felt that "this is what I have to do, this is what people do when they meet", etc. This is really killing me because it makes me so exhausted. It is hard to change a habit just like that, especially when other people expect me to behave in this extrovert way. I so much would prefer to just sit and listen to other people without forcing myself to speak, but I don't know how to anymore.

I can't talk in some ways. I am a kind-hearted person, but sometimes I just want to be alone and please don't take it personally. I love to talk with the closest ones. When I have to force myself talking with other people, I feel so strange, I feel like it is not me. I need more than a year to feel comfortable talking with my colleagues at office. Don't expect me to talk vigorously like those consultants talking to others.

But I know that you are a bunch of clever people, let me handle people with my own way.

Have a great day!

Picture is taken from here.
Thanks for the owner!