I consciously know and aware of what life has offered me in this very moment. And here I am, right here, right now, in Singapore pursuing my dream to go back to school. Studying in here is not an easy thing, I bet everyone who are/were pursuing their study will feel the same. Maybe the culture does not fit, maybe the friends are not quite cooperative, maybe the food does not taste good, maybe the weather is too extreme, and maybes.
Sometimes when I am alone in my room, too much over-think, I can be overwhelmed with all of the maybes thoughts. But I always get punched back on the questions, why can I be in Singapore? why can I be the part of the best university in Singapore? why should I live the life like this?
And I believe I got so many chances that not everyone can get it by flipping their hands.
I should be more grateful rather than questioning those-does-not-fit matters. Someone very close told me that I will go far. And if I still have a mental like this, I will not go far. Worse, I cannot go far.
And after feeling so down and so tired with a lot of assignments, I mean, a lot like a lot.
When everything seems so hard.
When I cannot figure out why I am still mourning with broken-hearted pieces.
When I don't know where my best friends are.
When I miss my parents until I can scream it at the top of my lungs.
I secretly built a conversation with God,
Dear God above the sky,
I certainly have no words for you about my mixed feelings. But You know.. yeah.. hmm.. yeah, You know.. Oh cmon, You know.. I don't know what to say if You insist.. You're God, You should know..
On the next day at the morning, I open my refrigerator to get chocolate milk and Yakult, I found these new magnets that I honestly don't know where they were coming from.
Ask whoever your God is or whatever your religion is. He just answered my burdens.
Another good news? I just got an opportunity to go to Japan next year. He is too kind to me.
I am grateful. I am grateful.