Friday, December 21, 2012

Conversation With God

"Thank You for being with me, for talking to me about my heart. I haven't really talked about that with anyone. It just felt so terrifying. It doesn't seem to hold the same power now," Ivy prayed.

"The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets," Jesus explained. "The truth is they are more shadow than reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the places where they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are."

"But why do we keep all that crap inside?" Ivy asked.

"Because we believe it's safer there. And, sometimes, when you're kid trying to survive, it really is safer there. Then you grow up on the outside, but on the inside you're still that kid in the dark cave surrounded by monsters and out of habit you keep adding to your collection.

Collecting tears. Collecting sadness," Jesus replied.

"Remember, you can't do it alone. Some folks try with all kinds of coping mental games. But the monsters are still there, just waiting for the chance to come out."

"So, what do I do now?" asked Ivy.

"What you're already doing, learning to live loved. It's not an easy concept. You have a hard time sharing anything so far." He chuckled and continued, "So, yes, our friendship is real, Ivy. Not merely imagine. We're meant to experience this life, your life, together, in a dialogue, sharing the journey. You get to share in our wisdom and learn to love with our love, and we get... to hear your grumble and gripe and complain and...."

Ivy laughed out loud and pushed Jesus sideways in her prayer.

Ivy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She realised how much she had come to love this man, this man who was also God.

"Don't think we didn't try. Have you noticed that in your pain you assume the worst of me? I've been talking to you for a long time, but today was the first you could hear it. I am more than happy to see you happy. You don't need to have it all figured out. Just be with Me."