Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Nurture Your Positive Feelings

I was quoted Harold Coffin's statement that Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. 

Hi people, it's me again.

I have written on previous post about insignificant feeling and it is related to envy others. Nicely explained by Harold Coffin, I would like to tell more about the word envy itself and how you always feel like one after seeing other's great life.

Envy is a little tiny devil on your shoulder, always hovering on your head that whisper words into your ear, your soul and making our life seem so suffering, neglected, and much negativity. It irritates you. It distracts you from your real good life.

I write this post because I have experienced this. I envy to others.

Of course I could not get rid of this feeling in second. If we want to, at least we can minimize it in our life. So, we can live our life lightheartedly and much happier!

I also read and browsed several articles how to cope your negative feelings when it comes to envy feeling. The great one comes from Henrik and his Positivity Blog.

Focus on yourself when it comes to comparing.

Quite often we always make ourselves miserable because we're comparing what we have to others. It feeds your ego and pride when you buy Hermes bag, Europe trip, or get better job than someone else. You feel great for a while. But your mindset and the focus on comparing everything always winds up in you when you know someone else has more, much more than you. Someone has a better jewelry, someone has a newer car, someone has everything's good in life. And we start to stop being great or good anymore. Insignificant.

It is a great note that you only see what they choose to disclose. They are happy and also having their ego and pride to show their good life.

And you keep drowning in negativity.

A more useful way to compare is to just compare yourself to yourself. Look at how you have grown and what you have achieved so far. Appreciate what we have done and what we have right now. We should see how far we have come and what we are planning to do.

I believe it will make us more positive physically and emotionally. We will be stable since we are no longer comparing and feeling envious of what other people have that we haven't.

Be grateful and cheerful, find your own happiness.

On my previous posts, I often wrote about being grateful. Being grateful for what we have right now, for every penny, for every single family member, for your life, for your luck, for your bad experiences. It makes us stronger than ever. It makes us more mature.

It can be helpful to add a regular gratitude exercise to our life every morning when we wake up to minimize the envy. Take several minutes you need to focus on yourself and being grateful for all the things you got. What I do so far is making a list, write them down in a journal or tiny notes and put it on my "grateful jar".

Every morning.

I also pray in the very beginning of the day and the end of the day to always remind me that I am good today and lucky enough to still alive blissfully.

Develop a mentality that there's always a new chance.

Envy often seems to come from several areas in our life that lacking of something. Maybe we feel envious because someone else got a job that we always wanted, or because someone else got the opportunity that you had hoped for. Perhaps we are feeling envious because we are afraid of losing something and feel that if we do then we have hit rock bottom.

Focusing our mind on the scarcity can really screw our minds, thoughts, feelings and life. We will live in so much negativity, poor emotions that is unreasonable. If we get stuck in the envy, we feed them with more thoughts and emotional energy.

It's tiring.

Thus, we need to focus on the opportunities and new chances. There are always new business opportunities to find, new tests in school to take, new people to date/make friends with, new job out there. This way of thinking relieves us from our burden and pressure because we feel like an utter failure just because we stumbled and things did not work out this time.

We should keep our focus  steadily on the opportunities. We can learn from our failures as best as we can be. I know for sure it is quite hard to do day by day but it is even harder in the long run to live a life where we don't keep that positive focus.

We should nurture our good feelings.

Get a life.

If we sit on our sofa and not having enough to do then it is very easy to feel stuck in thought loops and to go into a downward spiral. More drama. Simply filling our life with the activities that you like most, with more fun activities and you won't have a time or a reason to be envious.

Other benefits of getting a life are that we become a lot more relaxed and less prone to overreacting about the little things.

As may you aware of that I am an introverted person, I have my own happiness-seeking activities. I read lots of books, I write, I play piano, I share my life story with the closest ones, I make handicraft, I decor my home, I travel, I sew, etc.. I love being busy with my own preference activities.

So, spend less time analyzing our life :P and more time living and exploring it in whatever way we'd like.

Cheers for a happier life!


PS: I got the picture from here. Thanks~